Random Thoughts by Leanne & Kevin Benton

Random thoughts by Leanne & Kevin Benton
(Note: This our own work soul, by us and the whole or no bit or part is to be copied without our prior permission!)

In deciding what to write about today I thought I might just write about the constant thoughts that tumble about in my head all day and night. I have always had random thoughts and feelings conflicting wildly like weeds growing in a freshly fertilized garden. Fasten you seatbelts, this may be bumpy ride full of twist and turn you didn't see coming.

I wonder why Dr.s bothered to figure out how to suck fat out of bodies but haven't developed a way to suck snot out so we could instantly feel better when we get a head cold? Now THAT would be a great discovery!

I sometimes wonder why God says he loves us sooo much and tells us to procreate then makes babies diapers smell like Hell on earth? Now you know you've wondered that too...come on now!

I have found myself pondering the thought from time to time why it is usually right after you clean the house that you become the MOST inspired to cook the largest in meal in history and hence...the house in now in worse shape than when you began...dishes everywhere from the kitchen to living room (who uses a table right?) dishwhr to load TWICE prolly, clothes everywhere (cuz of course you had to change to sweats after THAT BIG meal!) and yer not gonna get around to cleanin it AGAIN today so YEPPER you gotta do it ALL OVER again tomorrow. Now don't you feel stupid? Why do we do that? I wonder about that...

I wonder why a few HUNDRED people die from the swine flu and there is hand gel every damn where you go now like it's magic fairy spuge but MILLIONS die from AIDS and NOBODY wants to wear a friggin condom...WTH PEOPLE???

I often see fat or just slightly chubby chics and wonder why in the hell or WHERE in the hell they got the idea that they of ALL people could pull off those low rider jeans and belly shirts? EWWW! I so didn't want to see that. GAWD! I also wonder if the belly shirt is ACTUALLY a belly shirt atoll, quite possibly it is merely just the shrink factor in play here...again refer back to EWWW! Do they have a fun house mirror or did some A-hole for kicks tell them "damn baby you look good tonite!" and they been hittin the Jr's section ever since...wrong! Guys, Puleeze, don't do that...I sometime eat out before I go to Walmart and I pay good money for that dinner...*Hurl*

Christmas gift shanigans...I wonder sometimes...why is it I always fall for that line..."Oh I got you something really good! You're gonna LUV it! OMG!" That always means REGIFT!!! and that I am about to have it broke off in me. I wonder why it is that I always BELIEVE them, worry myself sick until I come up with the perfect, most thoughtful gift for them in return?

Cats ahh, my love, so I find myself pondering many a thought about them. I wonder why they are so sweet but never want to be petted when you are in the mood to pet them. How on earth a cat that has no doggie friend & never goes outside can possibly get a flea? How it can lay around for so long all day and do nothing and suddenly not be stiff as a board when it does an stellar imitation of an ADHD child on crack?

For some of you this may not apply if you haven't moved alot but...for us we have moved a bit so we have found it to be true no matter what...I wonder...Why is it that you always two weeks after you move in have a new neighbor move in too that has a rebel flag hangin off their beat up truck that bares a striking resemblance to the Beverly Hill Billies??? Every Damn Time...

Ok back to the Christmas thing...Why is it that on the Christmas we spent several $$$ on the lil one for like a bunch of commercialized crap ok, whateva...but the yr we were really tight and, swear on my grandfathers grave, we bought Christmas from the DollarTree it was the "best christmas ever momma!"... SAY WAT?!?...I also wonder why my dumb ass hasn't been ALL UP IN THAT DAMN DOLLARTREE every single freakin year since???? WTH man? Now that I really wonder about.

Why is it that when you find that perfect pair of shoes...you know the ones. That pair that you wear til you just absolutely HAVE to admit that they are no longer fit for human contact. Then you go to the store to find out that they don't make them anymore...not anything even close. Nope time has passed you by. You are now OLD. Like at this moment you feel like that old person wearing the velcro $5 shoes from Family Dollar that look like cheap nurse shoes...OH wonder if those feel good? I mean them old folks are all about comfort and obviously they don't care about looks or they sooo wouldn't be sporting THAT look...I wonder...If you see my car in Family Dollar parking, yep you guessed it! I have hit another all time low, and sadly I so don't friggin care! My damn feet hurt.

I wonder why they always tell ya diet food is great? No it ain't! Here is how that shit works folk, They bought it all, stocked their cabinets full and it was so expensive that they now have no money left to replace it with more food-REAL FOOD, so they fucking starve to damn death, hence the weight just flys off! There, diet food mystery solved. So I wonder...If you want to lose weigh why don't you just freakin stop eating, dumbass?

Why is it you are the ONLY ONE that never thinks you look like your picture?...I wonder that. I suppose it is self denial/self preservation probably because of the amount of, in your face pressure thrown at us from every direction these days to measure up to an unrealistic image (ie. Carmen Electra, or as my husband only thinks~HIMSELF, lmfao! but seriously, Patrick Dempsey)

I wonder why men are often in the worst mood in history (ie.d-heads) when we are the happiest? enuff said

Why is it some folks think that venting Uber personal frustrations as a status is a good idea. I suddenly feel like I, 2 secs after reading them, am torn at that moment as to whether to grab the phone and make a desperate plea for them to rethink their brainfart status report to the entire world wide web or to defriend them, cuz da da damn, people are gonna KNOW I am friends with this suicidal maniac...


These are just a Few of the things I wonder about...while my brain is on auto-pilot. For some of you I guess you are concerned for my mental health and for the others you're going, THANK GAWD I'm not the only one, well to the first half of you...

I wonder...are you a retards???...are you really just seriously sitting there part of the time with static between your damn ears...I really fucking wonder...

And for the other half...Welcome, Welcome, You are not alone...the mothership will be here at o4oo hours....*wink*

Please leave your comments...I pay in farmville coins...lmao...on the mothership they are worth a fucking MINT!

Dating Goals of the Opposite Sexes 2 by Leanne & Kevin Benton

(Note: This our own work soul, by us and the whole or no bit or part is to be copied without our prior permission!)Ranting on an old subject that lives on in an older blog...by Leanne & Kevin Benton
I had lots of responses at several different blogging sites I have posted my earlier blog "Dating Goals of the Opposite Sexes". And more over I have had my inbox BLOWN UP with both sexes asking a dozen questions that of course I feel I can answer or at least give a fine southern bell rant on.

A friend sent an email tonite about my dating blog saying basicly that he was a bit miffed at my lumping all men as dogs (ie. all they want is to...* ahem*...in my words, "GET LAID") Then a while later sent me this/another, more to the point note.
"I know a lot of guys that just want to GET LAID, and mostly the women go for these troubled souls, and the nice guy, looking for love, relationship... something real, well he gets passed over 99.9% of the time, so in my world women do it to themselves..."
His point in a nutshell...Men don't just go out seeking ALWAYS to just "GET LAID"...but they Damn sure WILL, if given half the chance, USE WOMEN in this manner because they are so damn easy to BE USED... to this note from my buddy I saw my hubby lifted up a cheer and I saw a light bulb go metaphorically FLICK! And I am off to the races with my keyboard...

Now the womens side
The women all seemed to think I had specifically targeted them and took offense. I refer only to the ones that actually responded to me. My response to them in kind now is... If you looked at my blog and felt you were looking into a mirror then you should reflect within yourself and ask WHY you thought this, AM I this person? If the answer is YES! then you should make a plan for change Asap. But my inbox can't fix what ails you so please don't involve me. I had nothing to do with the state of your emotional health at this moment except that you might owe me a thank you later for giving you a wake up call. But I DID NOT place you in the good or not so good standing graces of men. I merely observed the obvious. I did not do this to you, no mamam. Meditate, change and listen...


Now for my RANT!
I pull up my soap box...Julia Sugarbaker style, positioning it just so...can everybody hear me in the back? Ok I'm ready to begin. Pay attention please!..*the crowd hushes*

Yes sadly my friend was correct. I have so many single friends. The truth is, they are STILL single becuz they just don't know HOW to pick em! STUPID! I try try try in vain to guide them. I hear idiotic things like "Oh but he's not my type or he's isn't that cute, or eww he has kids to deal with!"....ridiculous...I can't believe it when they throw in the kid part considering THEY have kids themselves! Now thats funny rite thur! In their words men..."Girl I don't wanna deal wid no other mans kids! I got my own!" This is the crap these women who date man after man, sometime multiples at one time, spew. Then wonder why they can't get what they want out of a man?? WAT!? When they have already tanked on marriage number 2,3,4 like a certain friend of mine, hell I've lost count! She is the most hardheaded woman I have ever met. But she is just one of soooo soooo many of my friends, like the women that men encounter and end up using..."TO GET LAID!" just as I said in my earlier blog. Then I didn't really have an explaination for it just knew it was basically true but after a few dozen letters and my insiteful buddy tonite I now have the 411 you ladies have been craving... and as usual, you don't want to hear it...
Oh yes my male inbox friend tonite, you were preachin to the choir sir I say!! I have a marriage that has withstood the test of time and seen its share of troubles so you'd think these girls would hang on my every word??? Oh and yet alas HA HA!! they treat me like a teenager treats their parents...like I AM THE ONE thats out of touch and doesn't know my stuff when it comes to men. GRRR! I want to just SCREAM in their face!!!, "Well GEE WHIZ, I may not be in the dating world hun but then again I don't have to be anymore cuz I know how to get it right! duhr!"

Thank you all for coming, I will close now...

So I end with this saged advise I have been giving my single male friends for YEARS:
It seems like dumb thinking but the best women to at least check out are newly divorced or newly seperated women. They obviously know how to have a relationship to a degree, and if they are of any merit they WON'T be on the market long so GO GET HER TIGERS, BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE DOES! This is my secret dating tip for guys. :) Have a great nite. Thanks so much for being my buddies and girlfrands and reading theses blogs. Winks*

PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS!!!
Click on comments then go to the box & type out ur feelings, bad/good or indifferent, IDK just GIVE UR OPINION so I know you weren't one of those SKEERDY CATS that read it and hide or GAWD forbid goes to my friggin INBOX! (not inclding my bud T that inspired this rant) sarcasm or showin the luv encouraged;-)

Ever Notice...

Ever Notice... By Leanne&Kevin Benton
(Note: This our own work soul, by us and the whole or no bit or part is to be copied without our prior permission!)
Today has been a day of reflection. One for sitting back and deciding what to write about. Getting reviews on old blogs, hearing, reading comments, asking questions, contemplating answers and interpreting my gathered data. To say the least my day has been one of confusion,shock and amusement. Some folks gave me reactions, while others gave me nothing atoll. Yet a third group gave what I believe to be pure BS...hmmm.

Ever notice, that the older one gets that the people you think you know never respond the way you think they will? That "friend" you had way back in the day now acts like they are suddenly from the other side of the tracks and they can't believe you just said something or did something so shocking? Ever notice how that someone who barely would give you the time of day in school now is suddenly noticing you and being nice to you, even treating you as an equal? Supporting you as you would love that old buddy too now? Funny how roles reverse as time marches on. You begin to question if that "good ole buddy" ever really was...and why in the H#ll or rather WHERE in the H#ll this other guy was back in the day when you sure could of used a friend like they are now, cuz man are they GREAT now! Sigh...

Ever notice friends are never easy, usually fleeting, and the root of most of your troubles? Yes today has been a confusing day... full of contemplating who my friends are and who are merely putting "faces on"
I don't think I liked today. No. I don't like having to "judge" friends.

Ever notice your parents are alway right? I have heard this saying a thousand times in my youth and used to think my father stone crazy. Used to say, "Daddy, I have tons of friends!"
Here is what he said, for he, my father put it best...
"If you have ONE TRUE friend in your whole life, then you have more than most gal."
H. Hamrick
enough said...

PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS! I DON'T CARE WHAT THESE OPINIONS R, GOOD/BAD, JUST THAT YOU HAVE ONE! GAWD KNOWS I SURE HAVE ENOUGH! ITS THE ONLY WAY I WILL KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BLOG ABOUT OR NOT...TY SINCERELY, LEE

The Different Goals of the Sexes when Dating

The Different Goals of the Sexes when Dating By Leanne&Kevin Benton
(Note: This our own work soul, by us and the whole or no bit or part is to be copied without our prior permission!)

Have decided that I have been helping several buddies of the men persuasion of late with there pick-up lines and dating skills. Friends have always said I was good at counsel sooo...todays topic... Dating!

First I think men and women have different goals when dating at different times in life.
20's Men ~ get laid
Chics~nice guy/bf, trial runs for hubby shopping WHILE havin fun & lastly get laid
30's Men ~ GET LAID
Women~(we have evolved now from chics) freshly divorced they are now hubby hunting and not about to make the poor man with kids mistake again so they are gold diggers and not ashamed of it! or badly damaged goods and just looking for comfort (in this case men RUN!) or they are just sick of men and plan on using you before you can use them...please refer back to golddigger but without fear of commitment, lastly the woman that has a biological clock ticking VERY LOUDLY and needs a man...ANY MAN, just a "baby daddy" (again men run! don't look back!)
40's Men ~Get Laid & possibly settle down (ie. find a woman who will cook & not notice that he is losing his hair & "game")
Women~Becoming desperate or independent at this point. If they have been alone for long at this age then they don't feel like babysitting a man or picking up after one so guys you have missed your window of opportunity with this woman unless she is in my second category...DESPERATE! she maybe desperately hunting a soulmate or desperately needing a man to support her in her older age and fleeting beauty. This woman ain't dumb, she knows she only has so long before she is over the hill so she is "desperate" to reel her in a live one!
I can't advise past 40's I am not there yet and have no friends far past this age from whom to observe...
stay tuned for my next revelation... You may not like it but I call it how I see it. Some women may think I women bashed today. Not so. Or rather I gave both sexes equal hell. I just didn't elaborate on the men, but then if we are honest with ourselves ladies, men are simple and my explaination was quite sufficient I do believe. If I MUST add a bash for those of you that will not be satisfied, men just need to be fed, f&cked & the remote in clear easy access:)
til next time....

PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS! I DON'T CARE WHAT THESE OPINIONS R, GOOD/BAD, JUST THAT YOU HAVE ONE! GAWD KNOWS I SURE HAVE ENOUGH! ITS THE ONLY WAY I WILL KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BLOG ABOUT OR NOT...TY SINCERELY, LEE

About convenience store roses and how NOT TO USE ONE....By Leanne & Kevin Benton

Note: This is our own work and is souly ours and the whole and no bit or part by be copied without our prior permission!Ok so I have been very remiss in my blogging. I still am soo tired from my hospital jaunts that I don't really have it in me to amuse you with daily blah blah so a friend has reminded me of one of my "Leanne stories" and I figure I will share that with you today. Enjoy. I am sure they did:(

About convenience store roses and how NOT TO USE ONE....By Leanne & Kevin Benton
I gotta tell this story or bust. Last time I had a rose from there is was just one of those "in the moment" things. I was standing there paying for gas and there they were. I had been dating casually 2 different guys and lived by myself. Would have loved to "snag" either of these two guys, one only slightly more than the other...so I see the roses and a plans starts to formulate...should have stopped there. Duhr! Mistake #1.
So guy A shows up that afternoon and rose is on table. "Who's the rose from?" -me "guy B" to this he asks (already knowing that there IS a guy B btw, now jealous,) "who is this guy A" he asks of me, I figure what can it hurt, the guy is from good standing and handsome and they would have gone to school together so I figure to divulge this info will only further my cause right? so I answer.
Mistake #2 Later that nite Guy B shows up and ask "who gave you a rose?" also knowing of Guy A. I again use same psy. I answer with a name once again...
Mistake #3 Fast forward to next day...BOOM Failure to Launch!

Note on door from Guy A & Guy B...written TOGETHER!
Dear Leanne, we are cousins and discussed you and "THE ROSE" to decide on who cared for you more so one of us could step aside, however...in our little discussion we both discovered a small detail you seem to have "glossed over" or shall we say "embellished"... so tell us...WHO BOUGHT THE DAMN ROSE?! Love, Evan & Pete
Call us, we'll be at Pete's house this evening, we're really curious?

OH SNAP!!! I stared at the phone all night everytime it rang like it was a viper! LOL's I's skeered of dem conv store roses, days gots mo than thorns! Please let me know if you enjoyed this blog. I will post more of my "Leanne stories" Stay Tuned, Ya never know what I'll say next, LOL LeeLee:)
PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS! I DON'T CARE WHAT THESE OPINIONS R, GOOD/BAD, JUST THAT YOU HAVE ONE! GAWD KNOWS I SURE HAVE ENOUGH! ITS THE ONLY WAY I WILL KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BLOG ABOUT OR NOT...TY SINCERELY, LEE